Hey,
I guess I should introduce myself as the teenage drama queen. Here are a few things you may like to know :
♥ I have quite an obsessive nature
♥ I have been accused of being an alcoholic simply because I tend to drink alot - maybe too much for my age but hey, it makes me feel better
♥ I have also been accused of being addicted to caffeine - i deny this also because i simply don't sleep enough to not need it during the day
♥ I do smoke but I am not addicted - FACT
♥ I accept that I am a shopoholic simply because I can have 200 pounds at the beginning of the month - spend it in four days and can only recall spending 60 of it. It worries me that i have money issues already when i'm only 14
♥ I work hard at school because I've decided if I'm not rich when I'm older I really won't survive
♥ I am 9st 4lb today - this could [hopefully] change for the better - i try to stay healthy
♥ My friend's think i'm 8st 11lb simply because I am embarassed by my actual figure.
♥ I'm really scared that I'll grow up to be an old lonely bag who dies a virgin - guys don't really fall for me like they do others.
> Anyways on with the showwwww
IV align=left>I ♥ magazines and all sorts of journalism and was reading Marie Claire when I found out about blogs. They described them as a release and as a great way of meeting new people. I think that if anyone needs to meet new people it would be me simply because i don't think anyone has too many friends. I also think that if anyone needs a release it's me. I may be loud but when it comes to getting pissed off at other people i just can't show it. I hold it in - keep it bottled up, and then end up taking out on other people such as strangers who hit me with their bags in the street - even though it isn't there fault that i get fucked about by people.
Another reason I guess for starting this blog is because my best friend Polly is in France for a school trip and I miss her to BITS. I don't see her very often since we go to different schools but I talk to her constantly on msn and she is my closest confidante [If I was Jane Austen she'd be my Cassandra]. I dn't think there's ever been a time when I've lied to her, although i've probably been tempted at some point. She added me on msn after finding out that I was friends with this other girl called Cheyenne. For many it would seem weird that I met her over the internet and its something that i could never admit to my friends in school so i told them that she used to go to my primary school. I was quite surprised to see that she'd told all her friends how she'd met me and admired how she wasn't ashamed in anyway. Reflecting voer my descision i wasn't sure whether it told me something about myself, or about my friends, maybe in some ways it was a bit of both. I loved meeting all her friends as well because they were so different from mine, they were all so comfortable around eachother and surprisingly it was the most confortable I've ever been. Ever. And the most fun i've ever had without being fucked off my face [ aka drunk ]. It's true that the internet has already started to change my life so I'm hoping that maybe it will continue to do so...
Last night I watched pride and prejudice with my other best friend Leanne and seriosuly loved it. It reminded me of that tiny flicker that comes from that tiny candle in my soul that some would call romance. There are a lot of times when i forget all about romance and until now the only thing that has ever reminded me of it was the film Cruel Intentions, which by the way is one of my favourite films. We're studying Jane Austen's infamous novel in English and I already love it [and her]. Her narrative wit amazes me espeically at such restricted times.
When it comes to romance i don't really think i've had my fair share and i'm not really sure if thats to do with me or not. I have fallen in love, i think i was bout 7 or 8 and he was my best friends older brother. He was, to me at the time, amazing in every way. Unfortunately, that same year, his mother overdosed after a severe depression caused by threats of custody from his father. She died and he and his sister had to move to Ireland to be wtih their father. I never saw him again and at times I remember him and how much fun we had - i guess that makes me rather sad.
At the moment there isn't alot of drama surrounding my life which can be a good or bad thing. Last weekend i found myself asking my friend if he'd pretend to go out with me to make this other guy jealous but i realised he was a dick head and got over it in a couple of days. This practical outlook on love is something i have decided to try and give up since its obviously not gettin me anywhere, I really didn't expect to want to fall in love at this age but hey what can you do. I haven't had a boyfriend in over a year and my last 'relationship' was bullshit - and nearly made me hate someone who turned out become a really nice gal.
Right not I'm fairly convinced that the next guy that I'm gonna meet will be a mate of Polly's simply because the people I hang out with in school really don't wanan introduce me to the guys they know and i don't know a reason for this. There is of course an exception and that would be Anna. She is such a good friend to be it's actually exceptionally surprising. She's the only close friend in my school who hasn't fucked me about in the past and would introduce me to everyone in the world if I asked her to. You may have guessed but I go to an all girls school, hence the lack of male aquaintances. I do know quite a few but alot of them are dick heads which kinda doesn't help this whole new romantic outlook on life i'm trying to pursue.
Ok, I think thats a fairly safe introduction for now, I guess i'll be reporting in 2moro
luv ya for reading this,
xxxx
